Caflumada

Caflumada is a whirlwind, like adulting responsiblities, that come out of nowhere.

It’s the verbal expression of emotion. It's when you realized you should have been listening to your intuition because you were right all along and the Flum has hit the fan. It’s all of those things, maybe more.

Any peer of mine is familiar with it even if they’ve never heard of the term because in every adult life (at least) a little flum must fall!

We’ll talk a little more about how it sounds later, but Caflumada is the word that would best describe the emotions that are beckoned when you first recognize that shit has taken a turn for the worst. It’s often at its Caflumadic peak the first few moments to minutes when a situation goes from something just isn’t right, through what the effe just happened, landing at this is F&CK'ed!

If you were to snapshot your life at a Caflamadic moment, it would say,

"At that moment is when she knew that she had FUCKed up!"

And I say that moment in particular, the moment of initial awareness, because maybe you can mentally prepare for the future stomach dropping Flum, but at first if you’re not careful it’ll have you…

Caflumadic Moment Onset: Between 29 and 30 seconds for Kamaya and her best friend

...alternating between begin incapacitated and hysteria! #FlummedUp

But, why even talk about Caflumada?

1. Cuz that son of a b**** feeling needs a name!

2. You’re someplace that even a well-placed “F&CK!” might get yo’ a** fired!

Caflumada as a word has its origin in 2002 when I as an executive assistant was asked to give a report on some aspect of the up to the minute company operations. I told the executive director, “It’s Caflumada out there (because yeah for that moment ish was kinda chaotic)!” But, after I finished my report and was about to be out, I decide to take five paces back and say just to be sure, “I made that word up.”

She responded, “I was about to look it up.” And I thought to myself, “ahhhh, it really sounds like a word, and she knew what I meant.”

And, to me it actually sounds like what it means, kinda my made up onomatopoeia.

I just tucked that away for future use...

“Skip all that yip yap. Caflumada, what that ish mean?”

^^^^ Just tell me what it means already, dang!

...Welllllll, it's actually never tucked. Life is too full of Flum. Like Caflumada is moving 2000+ miles from home, with no job, and not having yet applied to Memphis State, applying to the Education department because you believed (and others believed) that you were part of the education solution for children via your charter school, but then you were denied admission.

F&CK!!!!

Cuz yes sometimes in the moment Caflumada won’t do!

...Hey, I’m guessing more than 80% of you just skipped to the payoff and read the definition right away. So, let’s skip all the details and we might as well continue there, and answer what I’m assume is at least someone’s question.